How to Develop A Photographic Memory In 2.5 Days...

Interested in finding out how? ... LOOK NO FUTHER!! All you have to do is follow this easy-peasy step by step guide ...

It is essential that this task is carried out at least 4 weeks prior to an exam period.

Step one: Take things easy and relax until there is only 4 weeks left until the exams.

Step two: Make a timetable and plan things out marking days left until exams in the calender and start making great colourful notes.

Step three: Follow this exam timetable revision thingy for 4days until you feel you have accomplished something and are making good progress. Ensure that you actually realise that if you stick to your plan, you can be ready on time for the exams, no problems.

Step Four: Spend the next couple of days taking it easy but making sure you are in your room a lot when parents are around so that when you do finally emerge... they think you have been working all day. Instant feeling of accomplishment and therefore no need to work.

Step Five: Suddenly remember your calender and turn the couple of pages until you reach todays date. Freak out at the number of days left till the exam.

Step six: make a new exam timetable to try and squeeze in all that you still have to do. Follow this timetable for 2 days max.

Step seven: watch lots of tv, look up random things on the internet, tidy your room, clean the house, go to the cinema (ORANGE WEDNESDAYS ALL THE WAY), rest, watch dvds and all the extras on them, dance round your room, shower for an extra 30mins, aquire an intrest in news and watch bbc news 24 consistently ... basically ... whatever you please to discover your prefered procrastination method.

step eight: stick with your tried and tested procrastination method until the calender has a big red number on it saying 5days left.....

step nine: Freak out, make a pile of all the notes that need to be gone through, clear desk, sit down and work out a last minute revision plan then proceed to sleeping in on the third day so that you are unconcious to the world for longer and therfore unaware that the countdown reached 3.

step 10: spend the final 2.5days cramming and making up stupid stories to remember facts, try but fail to complete practice questions, cram some more, pace up and down the room, read out notes like a play and pretend to be giving the lecture to your teddies... DO WHAT YOU PLEASE BUT CRAM CRAM CRAM oh - and dont forget to freak out a bit. NB/ you must stay awake until 2am and wake up at 6am and on the exam day, 4am.

Completion: Go to the exam do your best and hope that you have an army of guardian angels watching over you - or better still, the man Himself - oh and also pray for a bleeding miracle.

Congratulations.

You have now completed the DIY photographic memory creator.

You should finally be able to look at something and remember totally bizare facts about it and find them swimming round your head at night time keeping you awake with nothing you can do about it.
This will be occuring due to the delerious state of yourself and the fact that you are so worked up and adrenalined up and just generally in a state of shock that when you see something, your body has been trained to think you need to know anything and everything and will therefore store the information.

Potential Side Effects :-

• Laughing at hiccups until your stomach muscles are extremely sore
• Reading things over and over again and not realising you are doing so until a couple of minutes has passed.
• Staring into space
• waking up at stupid hours in the morning (eg. one hour intervals after 3am) due to the fear of sleeping through the alarm.
• Reading things over and over again and not realising you are doing so until a couple of minutes has passed.
• cravings for love and attention
• Reading things over and over again and not realising you are doing so until a couple of minutes has passed.
• Increased heart rate.
  

All side affects tend to be short term only.

Customer satisfaction and tiredness guaranteed.....

Reviews:-

Sophie, aged 19 & 6months:- "i recently tried this method out and i found it to work exceptionally well. I had an incresed heart rate, was waking up at stuipd hours of the morning, i was hiding out in my room and found myself in the midst of a hysterical laughing fit after a simple case of hiccups.
The mad rush was insane but facts did stay in my head - not all the details but the actual facts. I also had the problem of remembering random things from the most pointless things and sections of notes were just spinning round my head in a mish mash at night ........ do i think that it worked? .... after finding out today that i definately passed all three of the big exams that i took prior the the holidays i would say yes... it does work! Its particularly great concidering the lack of effort put in and the minimum amount of revision!!!!
Unfortunately i had one hanging over my head the whole way through the hols and i took it yesterday, but again ... i followed the method and i hope it worked - i find out the result in a few weeks time. I definately had an army of guardian angels and the man Himself watching over me."